June 11, 2010

advice needed

cayden comes home at least once a week with an accident report. ok, scratch that, he comes home with accident reports more often than not. but once a week, there's always a bite report. as in, another kid bites our kid hard enough to leave teeth marks on him. ugh.

and as most daycares do, they can only tell us that cayden got big. but not by whom. which is fine. i totally get it. & our daycare is awesome of taking care of the problem.

but the thing is, i don't want my kid to keep being bitten at school. people at school were telling jeremy that we should teach cayden how to bite. but doesn't that just defeat the purpose? i mean, hey, we already have biters in the class, let's add another one to the mix. um, yeah, that sounds stupid to me.

so what can we do? is there anything to do? or do we just hope that said biter grows out of this phase pretty quickly? help a mama out!


Anonymous said...

Hey, honey!! This happened to you and the teacher bit you back to teach you not to bite!!! Talk about one mad mama!! Please do not teach Cayden to bite. That teaching him it's okay to bite. Hopefully the teachers are talking with the other parents. What is their policy on keeping biters? Is it the same child every time? They do outgrow it. Bad thing is Cayden may learn to bite back on his own as self-defense!

pharmgurhl said...

Same thing happened to us...Balin always came home with a bite mark...if not everyday, every other day. It is maddening, but there is honestly nothing we can do about it. "They" told us they could not reveal names to avoid conflict between parents. We were told that it was different children in his class...most had older siblings. Also that children of this age are 'exploring' the usage of their teeth...so it isn't necessarily out of meaness, but seen as 'play'. I hated seeing marks on Balin, so I totally understand your frustration and concern. Unless it was rumor, I did hear of a child that was dismissed from our daycare for biting...so they will deal with it if it becomes a major issue. I think it was an older child though...that kids Cayden's age are learning and/or must be taught right from wrong. We actually got reports that Balin had bitten other kids too...monkey see, monkey do? As parents, we dealt with it at home...Balin understood it too, as little as he was!! Anyway...hang in there!!! Soon, Cayden will be able to tell you who the culprit is...and you can give them the 'mad mommy eye" :) good luck.

Jenny said...

Jodi is right... Monkey see, monkey do. But this is unconventional to me, even though I don't have kids. In psychology, "normal" is defined as the behavior of the majority (free knowledge for the day), but these seem like half-baked kids to me. I do not like hearing about kids biting my nephew AT ALL!

Morgan and Robbie said...

Girl this is a hard one. I know you don't want your sweet baby boy to be bitten every day, but like the others said you don't want him to become the biter. Being a teacher, I would personally say don't teach him how to. I would ask the teacher, for the sake of your sweetie keep the biter away from Cayden. Because after all it is their job to keep your kiddo safe. The age that Cayden is those type of biting reports are normal but not more times than not. They need to separate the child.
The confidentiality issue is frustrating, but with all the craziness these days, its really better for you know to know. For all we know this child's parents might be biters too :)Or the type to put the blame on you and your child. I hope that they are trying to get him/her to stop the biting!
Hang in there!

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